1. Simplify what you're talking about and use words they can use.
Use simple words and short expressions rather than explaining them to them as if they are understanding every word. The more words you use, the more work their brain has to do to understand what you’re saying, decreasing the chance they actually get what you’re saying because toddlers have a short attention span and don’t have the stamina to listen to long, complex sentences like adults. Think of it as being in a country where you don’t speak the language fluently, but know enough words to catch onto main ideas. You wouldn’t want someone to give you complex long sentences about how to get to a specific destination, you’d prefer they just say keywords so you know how to get there. A child with a language disorder goes through a similar process. Another example would be asking if they wanted a treat. Instead of saying, "Do you need one of these yummy chocolate chip treats that Mommy just purchased at the supermarket?" Hold up the treat and inquire, "Want a treat?" Notice how it’s essentially the same question, just one uses lots of unnecessary words and the other gets right to the point in the simplest way possible.
2. Watch your toddler and discuss what they are focusing on right now.
While you're eating a snack in the afternoon and you notice your child is really examining the snack or the packaging closely, utilize those words in a discussion. Try not to talk about what occurred at childcare yesterday or grandmother's visit one weekend from now. Keep it basic and in the present time and place so it "appears to be legit."
3. Use “clues” to show him what you’re talking about.
Use or point to actual objects when you’re discussing them. You can do this with books, in the car, at the grocery store, or anywhere you’re at. Use gestures if you’re using action words like driving, running, shaking your head, etc. This helps them form a connection with the world while adding a new word to their repertoire.
Whenever your child’s not answering, draw nearer to them, get down on their level, and contact them to divert their attention back to you. Don’t forget that tone of voice matters as much as attention. If you’re using a calm, relaxed voice when telling him/her not to cross the street (assuming you don’t yet have his/her hand), they may not understand the gravity of the situation. Don’t be afraid to use “emergency” tones or negative tones when it’s appropriate and matches the message you’re delivering. Always using a calm, relaxed, positive tone is confusing and easy to tune out as well.
4. Say it again if they don’t understand
Little children with language delays need additional repetitions of words to have the option to handle what's been said. Fight the temptation to think and say, "I've told you once (or two times)." Repetition helps their little brain to learn. Kids thrive on repetition, it actually helps their ability to develop prediction skills. It’s why they like to read the same book or watch the same video over and over again. They’re watching, learning, and learning how to predict based on information they already know. It’s the same with language; they need to be repeatedly exposed to words or phrases before they really comprehend them.
5. Give them Processing Time!
This is hard for parents! Give them enough time to think during your conversations. Pause after longer sentences, pause when you see they look a little confused, and if you're expecting or wanting them to take a turn in the conversation. You may have to consciously (but silently) count to 5, or even 10 before moving on to your next point, or before you repeat yourself to be sure he’s had time to respond. Sometimes repeating yourself too quickly makes them start the processing time all over again, so just give them 5-10 seconds to process what was said before you say anything else. It's really hard at first, but it gets easier.
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